Ahhh hellooooo world! I’ve been told my blog is interesting, I don’t keep shit back, and this is where I come to vent. Yes….but mostly, I just look at this as my creative outlet to post what I want to post, say what I want to say. I’ve been told I’m too blunt and the way I deliver stuff can hurt feelings, but REALLY really….so what? Ok maybe not so what, but the truth…is the truth! And as ursher say….truth hurts.
Speaking of the truth, I’ve had this topic on my mind for a couple of days. What constitutes as a mistake? I’m specifically referring to cheating, or stepping out while ‘talking’ or the gray areas of ‘we were on a break!!!’ All of my friends fans know how that was Ross’s claim to fame as to why he slept with another woman hours after he and Rachel went on a break. Let it be known it was because he was FUCKING CRAZY and super possessive and crazy. So, Rachel finally was fed up, and out of frustration said she wanted a break. That night, all sad and mopey, Ross took a visit from a male friend that was visiting Rachel that night that she was indeed into him, and FUCK IT! LET ME STICK MY D*CK IN A RANDOM CHICK AND FEEL ALLLLL BETTER!
Sometimes I wonder how great a penis in a vagina feels, because it blinds the shit out of men. I love sex, don’t get me wrong, but to blindly fuck just because? It’s just unnecessary. No, I’m not an angel, yes, I’ve had some questionable situations in the past, but I was single, or I made it known to whoever I WAS dealing with, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I know what happens when you cheat, and end of the story it’s fucked up. Temptation is there, trust and believe there are some sexy men out there that if I was single….sure, but I’m not. I’m in a committed relationship in a real life grown up relationship. Shit, we are even living together now. Now that’s deep. If someone were to step out on this relationship, that person is damn near homeless. I know for a fact if I ever cheated on him, my shit would be in trash bags by the time my orgasm was over. Too graphic? Tough shit, this is real life.
What makes me laugh, and will allllways make me laugh is the double standard of cheating. Men. Cannot. Deal. With. Their. Woman. Fucking. Another. Man. They can’t. It’s crazy. “You women take a man in when you have sex, for us, it’s just a hole.” If that’s the case, go dig one in the yard and go play like the dogs you are. “We men innately need to conquer, it’s in our DNA.” Eff that, I’ll try to stop cursing so much, but this topic gets me riled up. But seriously, screw that. You don’t think us females enjoy a good challenge? The challenge of conquering the man you’ve wanted for whatever reason it may be; he’s sexy, he’s cocky, you know he’s packing, his body is on point, he got moneyyyy, or the biggest challenge, he has a girl.
Nothing is more frustrating knowing you’d jump the hell out of his bones, but he has a girl. Blah. The temptation becomes that more intense because you know you can’t really have him, but you know chances are they’d probably go for it to. Why? “BECAUSE WE ARE MEN!!!” rah rah rah!!!
So going back to the original topic, if your man or lady cheats, and HAVE to confess, it’s a mistake. “Baby seriously they didn’t mean shit to me! You’re the one I love! That was just….I don’t know! It was a mistake!!” It was a mistake when you were climaxing? It was a mistake when you were bent over in a club bathroom? Or just when you decided not to put a condom on and got the bitch pregnant. THAT’s the damn mistake. Not only sexing without protection, which puts you at risk of std’s, not only coming back with her all on your dick and rushing to the shower to remove any evidence, not deleting all texts and calls that could lead back to the crime scene, but when you get that phone call that she’s keeping it, THEN it’s the mistake. You didn’t give a baby shit when you were getting it in, you weren’t even thinking twice.
It wasn’t a mistake when you were looking at your girls man like damn, he’s damn near perfect. I’m happy for her, but more than anything I’m jealous! They look so happy why don’t I have that!?!? He’s smart, sexy, cool, I think he was flirting with me too. Maybe he’s thought about it? Maybe I have?? Maybe??? No, I can’t. That’s fucked up, but if I ever got him alone and there was enough liquor in our systems….maybe…
'Oh Talya, your'e just being paranoid' Uh Uh Uh HONTEY I'm not pulling this out of my ass. Again I'm not perfect. I'm actually pulling a lot of this from my own life. If you ask my first real boyfriend, I cheated. I really didn't though, I kissed this guy when we were BARELY talking to each other, after I called the cops on that ass. As far as I was concerned he was dead to me. But the heart wants what it wants!! And foolishly we started dealing with each other again. I told him, WHOOPS and he flipped his shit. Looking back it's hilarious because I didn't SLEEP with the guy damn, not to mention my ex had his own thing going on and despite how much evidence I had, he kept denying it. Sit down.
My last boyfriend, while he acted extremely loyal to me, stepped out a couple of times with someone we were all friends with, and his ex and thinking about it, who knows who else. Hats off still because he was soooo slick with it!! It wasn’t until months later I put all the pieces together. I remember feeling SO betrayed. Like, nigga we ALL hung out mad times, and the whole time y’all had your own little secret going on!! Fooled the whole hell out of me!!! Same time, I blame myself too because I thought I was the shit and had him on a tiny little leash. Nope. He never used the word ‘mistake’ but all the drama caused the demise of our relationship. I couldn’t trust him, and any time we slept together after that, I would just think about the other bitches he fucked, and it was never the same after that.
Again, I’m not perfect and without putting ALLLLLL my business out there, I slept with someone who had a girl. It was allll wrong, and I still feel like shit about it and I’m STILL waiting for karma to be like ‘bitch, you knew….you knew…” Which is why, the idea of cheating I don’t think would ever surprise me. Now that I think about it, I know quite a few who have slept with others partners knowing that shit wasn’t right, but ‘I don’t know her, so who cares? She needs to check her man.” Nooooo you need to be checked as well, because once you fall in love, like REALLY fall in love, you’ll remember what you did and worry about your man. Now, ‘not all men are the same’ maybe, but all men, still are men, and p*ssy, according to most is just that.
Don’t carry your past into your future!! Truuuuue but don’t think it’s impossible. You’re innocent until proven guilty, but don’t think I’m not watching!
Sure, people do dumb shit, and make mistakes in terms of the consequences. THAT’S the damn mistake, your ass got caught!!
So as I end this, the term ‘mistake’ is ass. And just keep in mind, a quick boom boom could entirely fuck up your life. Once you start lying it won’t stop. My whole thing, is if you know you did it, keep it real, man up say what needs to be said. You were a man/woman when you were doing it, be a man/woman now.
Boy asks girl “is there ever anything you felt was unfinished business?”
Girl answers”like what?
Boy asks “like in an argument, did you ever want to say something you didn’t get a chance to? I don’t want there to be unfinished business between us.”
Girl says hesitantly “well….sort of. But aren’t you the one who says to pick your battles? I already put that to rest, so that’s that.”
Boy says concerned “it doesn’t seem like it. Just tell me. I’d rather know than not. ESPECIALLY since you basically said yes.”
Girl says with a smile on her face “babe, just leave it, please.”
Boy asks sternly “why won’t you just tell me!”
Girls looks up sadly and says “not everything needs to be known. Once you say something, in the heat of the moment or not, it changes. I think more of how I look in your eyes. When you learn something about someone it changes your view on them, better or for worse.”
Boy looks with an honest face “I want to know everything.”
Girl glares back “no, you don’t.”
If you’ve ever loved, there’s a favorite time you spend with them. Some love getting wasted and laughing into oblivion. Some love long walks, trying new foods, traveling, making love, long baths….the list could go on forever. But my favorite time, my ABSOLUTE favorite time, is right now. Early on a weekend morning where I’m up and he’s only up enough to reach for me when I get up for a moment, and reach for me when I try to quietly slip back in bed. Like he needs me. His deep breaths show his slumber and subconscious, but he still wanted me. The fan is on low, the birds are singing their songs, his hand twitches in his sleep. It’s almost like vacation because everything seems perfect, and I just lay here. My thoughts go to what needs to be done today. The inevitable madness at work…then he gets up, enough to kiss my neck good morning and sleepily ask what I’m doing today. I pray this and all of our times like this last forever. I was going to water it down, but I’m deeply in love with this man, and times like this solidify that feeling.
When it comes to love, it’s beautiful mushy and slew full of heartfelt fuzzies and all that all soft shit, but are soul mates real life?
I asked a few after talking to a friend who is married and from the outside seems like a perfect relationship. Beautiful wife adorable kid, but since the topic of my relationship comes up a lot, he said whatever, there’s no such thing as soul mates. Initially I was shocked and thought well DAMN even you’re saying this??? You have it all!! So seriously hope is lost, but he did bring something up that made me think. He said, they’re are TONS of people in this world, and I’m pretty sure I could’ve had this same thing easily with someone else.
Easily? I disagree. I was single for a while before I met my boyfriend. I was on the dating scene heavyyy for like two years and it took that long for me to find someone who didn’t feel like wasting time either. If it wasn’t him, I’m sure I would’ve found someone eventually but, fuck that. When it did click for me that ok he seems legit, let’s see what happens, I realized the ‘search’ was not only over but unnecessary. I found someone for me who upheld a lot that I wanted, and it would be dumb to ‘see what else was out there’ which quite frankly, isn’t a lot. Granted, a couple of the guys I did date I saw as potential or I really liked them and knew they did too, but a LOT of it has to do with the mental. One even said yeah I like you you’re a cool girl everything is fine and nothing is wrong with you, but I don’t want a relationship. Personally I thought we would’ve been great together, so does that mean I missed out on a soul mate? I don’t think so because connection and attraction can only go so far. To find someone with that who ALSO wants what you want, and wants to grow with you and plan things together, without killing you or giving up, now that’s a soul mate.
There are plenty of “good guys and girls” out there, but who’s READY? Who’s ready to accept you, to work with you, to make you better and make themselves better, for the sake of creating something with you? That’s the key to discovering your ‘soul mate’. I was lucky to not only find someone who internally had what I wanted, but he’s cute, his family is the shit, and it feels RIGHT. I’m sure people looking are still confused as to how this happened, where the hell he came from, and how it’s still going on but it is!! We talk often enough as to how we met each other at the right time. He went through his experiences as did I which shaped us to where we are today. Mistakes had to be made, shit had to hit the fan, or else this wouldn’t have happened. All I know is now that I have found him, I’m going to do my damnest to make it work, which honestly hasn’t been that hard. I’ve told him he’s the love of my life, and I really do feel that’s true. What I’ve felt with him I haven’t with any other, and that doesn’t mean intense butterflies or being in lala land and falling victim to playa shit or bull shit for that matter. This has been the smoothest relationship I’ve had, everrrr. Anyone who’s known me knows this, and the calm of this has made me a believer. I wasn’t hype and making all these outrageous plans when I first met him like I did with others (look where that got me) but more of a sigh or relief and a feeling of comfort, something I don’t take lightly or for granted. I’ve told him before you know, why me? There are plenty of girls out there, gorgeous girls, girls who’s finances and life that are far more together than mine, etc so why me? He replied well there are plenty of guys out there too, but it doesn’t matter. And it doesn’t, dudes still try to get at me, exes or ex things still lurk but at the end of the day I could give a shit. I know what I have is awesome, so awesome that even my prior baby daddy jigga jigga my n*gga couldn’t coerce me, and I really do love him. The richest man, the sexiest man, the funniest man, couldn’t change my mind of wanting to keep building with him.
A lot of my friends are single and I feel are great catches, but to be honest I’m just really happy I’m not there anymore. It sucks being single, borderline depressing without being emo, but it is. You go out a lot, get drunk, spend money, look cute…for what? A random hookup that won’t lead you anywhere but a deep sleep and probably regret in the morning, or an empty bed with cold ass sheets, to wake up to a hangover and a wish that you could wake up to a familiar face. Or a huge tv marathon in the dark with wine. Matter of fact netflix was my best friend when I was single or just broke up. I got sucked into the series and it was distracting but only until I stepped back into the real world and remembered what was really going on.
My point in saying that, some people are so scared to try, scared to get hurt, scared to get played, but REALLY it’s a part of life. If you never experienced a cloudy day, the sun wouldn’t mean as much. I’ve been in love before and I’ve been hurt before, been in really fucked up and shitty situations before. Felt like there’s no way I could love again blah blah, but! I got over it, because you have to or else you block anything good that could potentially happen to you. My advice, don’t give a damn about what people think, date!!! Dating is fun even if it doesn’t go anywhere. A lot of my guys were losers and creeps but I think it’s safe to say I still took away something from all of them, dare I even say positive? Sure….because it’s true. Also, I got some really great meals out of it, so even if you just want some good food, you can’t completely lose.
The single life, especially in the beautiful tech age where dudes can find pussy while blind, and girls are expected to suck you off on the first date are high and probably won’t cease any time soon, sucks!! It’s lonely and fucked up. People have their priorities all fked up, but I digress.
Oh look, how cute, wiki has a definition for it.
In current usage, “soulmate” usually refers to a romantic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond. This is to say, the word is used with more rarity than the terms also associated with ‘romantic partner’. The term is a very versatile term, being defined differently by different individuals, as it is related to the concept of love. It commonly holds the connotation of being the strongest bond with another person that one can achieve. The term is not used as often as other terms representing the same idea, and this is likely to lead to its perceived rarity in meaning. The definition of it ranges widely, and cannot be pinpointed. It is commonly accepted that one will feel ‘complete’ once they have found their soul mate, as it is partially in the perceived definition that two souls are meant to unite. The term “soulmate” first appeared in the English language in a letter by Samuel Taylor Coleridge in 1822.
Anyways, think about it. Whether you believe or not, you could be missing out on something pretty dope if you don’t at least try. One life to live, and there are only so many cats (as in pets) to love.