Ok so, #MCM aka man crush monday. Some think it’s corny along with #WCW women crush wednesday, but I don’t. For two reasons. One if your really in like or in love with someone, whats wrong with a little shout out? Everyone loves to hear positive things about them, and on a social network?? Hunni you are in loooove. Many feel if the person your talking to or dating doesn’t post you anywhere, something ain’t right. DING DING DING. Agreed. A lot of people put up a front online, not IIIII. First, and foremost, if you look at any of my social networks, I use them pretty frequently, especially Instagram. To my defense, I’m a photographer, I’ve ALWAYS loved taking and posting photos, long before I considered turning this into a career. Sometimes, I’ll admit, maybe more than necessary, but for the most part I LOVE my life, and if your apart of it, especially if we are having fun, you will get posted on there. With THAT being said, if you are friends with me on there, you’ve seen a thousand pics of me and dame, sorry not sorry. Here’s why. First, that’s my man, second, we live together and therefore are almost always together. It’s not my fault we do a lot of stuff and have a lot of fun, it is what it is. Plus, we cute! lol #truestory.
For many, social networks are the only eyes to a persons life, which again is why many sometimes ‘front’ or embellish their life style. I’m sure people have thought, ok they’re cute they post 100 pics but are they REALLY happy? I’ll even admit a couple of those pics (literally like 2 or 3) we look super in love but an hour before or after we were about to kill each other.
No relationship is perfect and ours really isn’t, but it does have a legitimate foundation, and overall we are really happy and have a strong relationship. The other night was one of those, necessary nights. We had a conversation that was, for a lack of better words real, and this is why I’m even doing all of this right now. The reason why Damon Mark M II is my MCM is because he loves me, simply put. I’m not easy, but he hasn’t left me. This is the longest drama free and sustainable relationship I’ve ever been in, and for that, for me anyways, it’s a little scary. I have been told and know, my brain can be pretty negative sometimes. ME personally, I’ve seen enough in life where I feel I almost HAVE to be on edge because I know people are evil, and some crazy shit can and can go down in the worst way possible.
Dame has patience with me, and listens (NOT ALL THE TIME) but when it’s needed, he tries to figure out what the problem is. It’s annoying sometimes because he WILL not stop until the root of the problem is discovered and discussed, but it’s necessary to learn and move on. I’m a handful sometimes, and actually plenty of people told me I’d never find a man because of my, interesting personality. However he did it, he sees ME. He calls me a softy all the time, even though IIII know I’m a thug, but….alas, he is correct. I’m sensitive and jealous and crazy, but it’s only because I love him so freakin much. Now don’t read this and judge me, it just is what it is. I’m not snapping every other situation, but it does sit in my brain and make me overthink sometimes. I know he’s a good guy, and even though its scary to love him as much as I do sometimes, I seriously couldn’t see myself with anyone else.
My issues are my issues, and one thing I forget all the time, is our age difference. He’s three years older than I am, and has experienced more of life including his time healing from his own relationships. When I started dating after my ex, it took me a whole year before I even thought about giving this ‘love’ thing another chance because of how things went and ended between us. Now granted I shouldn’t have thought I was that much of the shit that he wouldn’t do anything at all, I did, and he did, and when I found out it absolutely crushed me because he was someone I didn’t worry about because I couldn’t imagine in a million years he’d do anything to hurt me. HA. Negro played my wholllllle life in the craziest way possible. Definitely made me a bit paranoid, which came out even though I thought I was over it.
What I told dame is I knew he at least deserved a chance. I could tell from our first date. When I first met him, I was pretty much over getting excited about guys. I went to go, and because we had a much better and longer first conversation than I expected. At the least, I knew we’d have a decent meal, but I wasn’t expecting THIS allllll of this, thinking of marriage and babies. And I didn’t get excited because the other guys I met, I was SO hype! OMG he’s cute, omg he has a good job, omg he’s a musician etc etc THIS WILL WORK. And all sent me flying on my face.
So WITH Dame, I went really really slow. Like 1st 2nd 3rd base slow. Like he didn’t spend the night with me for i wanna say almost 6 weeks. Like I REFUSED to go into his bedroom forever. I never even saw his bedroom until we became official I think, because i DID NOT want a repeat of all the bull shit. Again, I could tell he was different and I could see something solid, and with all the others sexual activities typically started earlier, because I ‘knew’ no man would try anything until they got the cookie. I know I pushed him to like the last day before he laid out an ultimatum, but I’m so happy he waited and went with it, because I feel we really got a chance to know each other, without all the bumping and grinding to distract anything.
For everything he’s done for me, for learning me, for loving me, for supporting me to do my best and most importantly SEEING my best and my potential, this is why he’s my MCM now and forever. It’s going to sound SOOO lame, but I really am so grateful waking up to him every day. HA! Sometimes I creep and watch him while he sleeps and I’m just in shock for being so happy with him. Is this my life right now? Even in his ball shorts and wife beater while he stuffs his face, drinks his beer, and watches his wrestling, I’m still super happy. If it means I have to watched oiled up men in baby panties every monday and sometimes sunday for the rest of my life, I’m fine.
HOWEVERRRR let’s also keep in mind, his ass isn’t perfect either! But that’s not what this post is about. Hold on though, because he is stubborn as all hell and it drives me craaaazy sometimes…..ok ok that’s it……for this post anyways lol.
Loe you babe.
So, unfortunately, my first post got deleted, but I was so intrigued and impressed with the accuracy of this article, I’ll do it all over again. This was an interesting way to wake up, scrolling through Facebook to see this guy liking this particular article. Now, initially I thought, really? Then I thought men probably wrote this, so it’s probably not accurate. THEN I thought, this guy has been in a relationship for years, so if he felt so compelled to read like AND share maybe it’s worth it. THENNNN I saw women wrote this, and I knew it was definitely worth it. Now before we continue, this blog post and article is x rated. Not in the sense of it being a dirty porno conversation, but we are talking about oral sex. Men properly pleasing their women. Fellas, if you’ve gone downtown, first, applause to you. I have heard and even knew a guy or two who didn’t do this often, and just as mad as you get when a girl your dealing with won’t slob your knob, this is how we feel too! Some good penetration is great, but did you guys know a lot of females can’t climax only off of penis?? And for the sake of a somewhat sober read, let’s substitute oral pleasure with ‘cookies’ and penetration ‘candy’. Cookies and candy, got it?? So go ahead and read, then come back to hear my opinion.
So guys, are you thinking, fk this? You know what you’re doing? Here’s what you need to know. Hop off your mountainous ego and just listen to what these women are saying, because they are right! This is not to say your cookie game isn’t on point, because it just may be, but some insight never hurts. Some guys have their moves, and that’s it. The same moves you started putting together when you were a teen, may need some brushing up on. It’s like telling a seasoned driver they need to take a test again. They may say, please I know what they’re doing, but I’m sure there are some rules you’ve forgotten, or it’s been so long, your way is the only way.
Let me also tell you this, if a man followed all of these tips and tricks AND still had some good candy, his girl would keep that ass under lock and key. To give up a double whammy, is not only foolish, but so rare. Listen to your girls body, see what makes her squirm vs just laying there. Cookie is still always appreciated but that double chocolate chip cookie when you’re CRAVING some double chocolate chip, is a beautiful thing. Try something new, mix it up a little. Teasing is always fun because it puts your girl on edge. Feeling that heat and knowing it’s coming but when? is a fun and exciting experience.
And honestly, if you DON’T like giving cookie, just don’t. Doing it just to do it is worst then not. If your not buried and loving this, acting like you’re thirsty in the desert, I’ll pass. It’s like a girl not liking cookie and doing it with a stank face the whole time. I’m sure all men have gone through this at one point.
Sexual attraction is important, sexual freakiness, to a large enough group is important as well. Break down your walls fellas! Mix it up, back it up, flip it. Practice what you read, and I promise you’ll at least wake up to some eggs and bacon in the morning. If you do it and you wake up hungry, she’s not wifey!!!
Ahhhhh my hands are itching!!! So to the blog I go. Now, before I start this, I need to state a very clear disclaimer. Those who DO read my blog, that I know anyways, know I am in a relationship. I love my man, he’s a great guy, but this article is coming from Talya, a woman, completely unattached from my current relationship.
I have girlfriends,I have guy friends…not as many as before, but I work with men, I have male customers, so I still hear stories about relationships from both sides.
My first observation; men are men. What I mean by that is it is oh so true that men and women are not the same. I was having a very frustrated conversation with one of my girlfriends about the mans brain and all she had to say, is ‘they’re different talya, and you just have to get that.’ Me being me of course was initially like EFF that! What do you mean just accept that?? ‘They don’t think like us, they just don’t.’ Something you would think is so obvious, just so freaking obvious because I would do it, simply isn’t. And that’s because I’m a woman. I just heard a story where a man told a couple, ‘you just have to give women credit, they just do things better. They’re far more considerate, more action oriented, they just nail it.’ No, this is not a feminist post, just a post from a female.
So anyways, the point of the article is, IS there a man that can truly fully satisfy a woman. The answer it seems, is no. Does that mean there aren’t good guys out there? Of course not, but is there a guy out there that can fulfill what I deem the most important qualities;
*a true companion
*good in bed
This is what I can come up with right now. This may seem like the golden goose of men, the Zeus of men, the ultimate goal, the holy grail but we all know this is impossible. *shrugs shoulders* it’s impossible!!!
So, I know in my ultimate relationship, I want someone who is faithful, financially stable, fun, exciting, hard working, smart! caring, a good father to my kids, caring…..ok I’m pulling too much from the list and before I know it, the whole thing will be in this paragraph haha. I’m not one to settle, I can’t. I want to much for my life, but sometimes I look at it from a selfish point of view.
I’m not perfect, I’m not the shit either as I thought I was. I see that more in my current relationship than ever before because I always swore I was. Am I a good girl? Yes. Am I better than most of the pickings out there? That I can confidently say, yes! But I’m messy, curse way more than I should, partake in recreational activities way more than necessary (cough cough pun intended) complain far too much, I’m messy, some will say negative (I say realistic), don’t have a lot of money, and I’m spoiled. Wow. But I’m writing this because I had a real ass conversation with myself last night. I was annoyed by my boyfriend and even though he too isn’t the shit, in the same matter I described myself, he is a great guy. So I found myself thinking, yes there are things that I would change about him, but that’s him. Are they possible to change? Yes, just like my flaws are, but I realized things take time. Our relationship is still fairly new to be honest, and even though we do love each other, even live together, what’s more important? Someone who does genuinely care for you and could very well change? Or someone who has everything you want, but proves to be an ass? All the money in the world doesn’t make you a nice person. Sure you could do a lot more, show me a side of life I never thought could be lived, but if I’m not respected does it matter? What if he’s TOO ambitious? Which I feel is the sexiest thing alive any person could possess, and doesn’t have enough time for me? Yeah I love that your changing the world, but I haven’t seen you in over a month! Same time, there’s more to life than movies and cuddle time.
As I conclude, I want to open this up to men and women alike. Life is all about balance. I’m coming to learn that more and more and I get older and experience the things I do. Do you, and I mean this in the truest sense possible. Do what makes YOU happy whether it’s pushing yourself mentally, physically, educationally, financially….and hope for the best. If your partner sees you changing they’ll probably be inclined to do the same, if not, they just may not be man OR woman enough for you.
Ahhh hellooooo world! I’ve been told my blog is interesting, I don’t keep shit back, and this is where I come to vent. Yes….but mostly, I just look at this as my creative outlet to post what I want to post, say what I want to say. I’ve been told I’m too blunt and the way I deliver stuff can hurt feelings, but REALLY really….so what? Ok maybe not so what, but the truth…is the truth! And as ursher say….truth hurts.
Speaking of the truth, I’ve had this topic on my mind for a couple of days. What constitutes as a mistake? I’m specifically referring to cheating, or stepping out while ‘talking’ or the gray areas of ‘we were on a break!!!’ All of my friends fans know how that was Ross’s claim to fame as to why he slept with another woman hours after he and Rachel went on a break. Let it be known it was because he was FUCKING CRAZY and super possessive and crazy. So, Rachel finally was fed up, and out of frustration said she wanted a break. That night, all sad and mopey, Ross took a visit from a male friend that was visiting Rachel that night that she was indeed into him, and FUCK IT! LET ME STICK MY D*CK IN A RANDOM CHICK AND FEEL ALLLLL BETTER!
Sometimes I wonder how great a penis in a vagina feels, because it blinds the shit out of men. I love sex, don’t get me wrong, but to blindly fuck just because? It’s just unnecessary. No, I’m not an angel, yes, I’ve had some questionable situations in the past, but I was single, or I made it known to whoever I WAS dealing with, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I know what happens when you cheat, and end of the story it’s fucked up. Temptation is there, trust and believe there are some sexy men out there that if I was single….sure, but I’m not. I’m in a committed relationship in a real life grown up relationship. Shit, we are even living together now. Now that’s deep. If someone were to step out on this relationship, that person is damn near homeless. I know for a fact if I ever cheated on him, my shit would be in trash bags by the time my orgasm was over. Too graphic? Tough shit, this is real life.
What makes me laugh, and will allllways make me laugh is the double standard of cheating. Men. Cannot. Deal. With. Their. Woman. Fucking. Another. Man. They can’t. It’s crazy. “You women take a man in when you have sex, for us, it’s just a hole.” If that’s the case, go dig one in the yard and go play like the dogs you are. “We men innately need to conquer, it’s in our DNA.” Eff that, I’ll try to stop cursing so much, but this topic gets me riled up. But seriously, screw that. You don’t think us females enjoy a good challenge? The challenge of conquering the man you’ve wanted for whatever reason it may be; he’s sexy, he’s cocky, you know he’s packing, his body is on point, he got moneyyyy, or the biggest challenge, he has a girl.
Nothing is more frustrating knowing you’d jump the hell out of his bones, but he has a girl. Blah. The temptation becomes that more intense because you know you can’t really have him, but you know chances are they’d probably go for it to. Why? “BECAUSE WE ARE MEN!!!” rah rah rah!!!
So going back to the original topic, if your man or lady cheats, and HAVE to confess, it’s a mistake. “Baby seriously they didn’t mean shit to me! You’re the one I love! That was just….I don’t know! It was a mistake!!” It was a mistake when you were climaxing? It was a mistake when you were bent over in a club bathroom? Or just when you decided not to put a condom on and got the bitch pregnant. THAT’s the damn mistake. Not only sexing without protection, which puts you at risk of std’s, not only coming back with her all on your dick and rushing to the shower to remove any evidence, not deleting all texts and calls that could lead back to the crime scene, but when you get that phone call that she’s keeping it, THEN it’s the mistake. You didn’t give a baby shit when you were getting it in, you weren’t even thinking twice.
It wasn’t a mistake when you were looking at your girls man like damn, he’s damn near perfect. I’m happy for her, but more than anything I’m jealous! They look so happy why don’t I have that!?!? He’s smart, sexy, cool, I think he was flirting with me too. Maybe he’s thought about it? Maybe I have?? Maybe??? No, I can’t. That’s fucked up, but if I ever got him alone and there was enough liquor in our systems….maybe…
'Oh Talya, your'e just being paranoid' Uh Uh Uh HONTEY I'm not pulling this out of my ass. Again I'm not perfect. I'm actually pulling a lot of this from my own life. If you ask my first real boyfriend, I cheated. I really didn't though, I kissed this guy when we were BARELY talking to each other, after I called the cops on that ass. As far as I was concerned he was dead to me. But the heart wants what it wants!! And foolishly we started dealing with each other again. I told him, WHOOPS and he flipped his shit. Looking back it's hilarious because I didn't SLEEP with the guy damn, not to mention my ex had his own thing going on and despite how much evidence I had, he kept denying it. Sit down.
My last boyfriend, while he acted extremely loyal to me, stepped out a couple of times with someone we were all friends with, and his ex and thinking about it, who knows who else. Hats off still because he was soooo slick with it!! It wasn’t until months later I put all the pieces together. I remember feeling SO betrayed. Like, nigga we ALL hung out mad times, and the whole time y’all had your own little secret going on!! Fooled the whole hell out of me!!! Same time, I blame myself too because I thought I was the shit and had him on a tiny little leash. Nope. He never used the word ‘mistake’ but all the drama caused the demise of our relationship. I couldn’t trust him, and any time we slept together after that, I would just think about the other bitches he fucked, and it was never the same after that.
Again, I’m not perfect and without putting ALLLLLL my business out there, I slept with someone who had a girl. It was allll wrong, and I still feel like shit about it and I’m STILL waiting for karma to be like ‘bitch, you knew….you knew…” Which is why, the idea of cheating I don’t think would ever surprise me. Now that I think about it, I know quite a few who have slept with others partners knowing that shit wasn’t right, but ‘I don’t know her, so who cares? She needs to check her man.” Nooooo you need to be checked as well, because once you fall in love, like REALLY fall in love, you’ll remember what you did and worry about your man. Now, ‘not all men are the same’ maybe, but all men, still are men, and p*ssy, according to most is just that.
Don’t carry your past into your future!! Truuuuue but don’t think it’s impossible. You’re innocent until proven guilty, but don’t think I’m not watching!
Sure, people do dumb shit, and make mistakes in terms of the consequences. THAT’S the damn mistake, your ass got caught!!
So as I end this, the term ‘mistake’ is ass. And just keep in mind, a quick boom boom could entirely fuck up your life. Once you start lying it won’t stop. My whole thing, is if you know you did it, keep it real, man up say what needs to be said. You were a man/woman when you were doing it, be a man/woman now.
Boy asks girl “is there ever anything you felt was unfinished business?”
Girl answers”like what?
Boy asks “like in an argument, did you ever want to say something you didn’t get a chance to? I don’t want there to be unfinished business between us.”
Girl says hesitantly “well….sort of. But aren’t you the one who says to pick your battles? I already put that to rest, so that’s that.”
Boy says concerned “it doesn’t seem like it. Just tell me. I’d rather know than not. ESPECIALLY since you basically said yes.”
Girl says with a smile on her face “babe, just leave it, please.”
Boy asks sternly “why won’t you just tell me!”
Girls looks up sadly and says “not everything needs to be known. Once you say something, in the heat of the moment or not, it changes. I think more of how I look in your eyes. When you learn something about someone it changes your view on them, better or for worse.”
Boy looks with an honest face “I want to know everything.”
Girl glares back “no, you don’t.”
If you’ve ever loved, there’s a favorite time you spend with them. Some love getting wasted and laughing into oblivion. Some love long walks, trying new foods, traveling, making love, long baths….the list could go on forever. But my favorite time, my ABSOLUTE favorite time, is right now. Early on a weekend morning where I’m up and he’s only up enough to reach for me when I get up for a moment, and reach for me when I try to quietly slip back in bed. Like he needs me. His deep breaths show his slumber and subconscious, but he still wanted me. The fan is on low, the birds are singing their songs, his hand twitches in his sleep. It’s almost like vacation because everything seems perfect, and I just lay here. My thoughts go to what needs to be done today. The inevitable madness at work…then he gets up, enough to kiss my neck good morning and sleepily ask what I’m doing today. I pray this and all of our times like this last forever. I was going to water it down, but I’m deeply in love with this man, and times like this solidify that feeling.