Ok so, #MCM aka man crush monday. Some think it’s corny along with #WCW women crush wednesday, but I don’t. For two reasons. One if your really in like or in love with someone, whats wrong with a little shout out? Everyone loves to hear positive things about them, and on a social network?? Hunni you are in loooove. Many feel if the person your talking to or dating doesn’t post you anywhere, something ain’t right. DING DING DING. Agreed. A lot of people put up a front online, not IIIII. First, and foremost, if you look at any of my social networks, I use them pretty frequently, especially Instagram. To my defense, I’m a photographer, I’ve ALWAYS loved taking and posting photos, long before I considered turning this into a career. Sometimes, I’ll admit, maybe more than necessary, but for the most part I LOVE my life, and if your apart of it, especially if we are having fun, you will get posted on there. With THAT being said, if you are friends with me on there, you’ve seen a thousand pics of me and dame, sorry not sorry. Here’s why. First, that’s my man, second, we live together and therefore are almost always together. It’s not my fault we do a lot of stuff and have a lot of fun, it is what it is. Plus, we cute! lol #truestory.
For many, social networks are the only eyes to a persons life, which again is why many sometimes ‘front’ or embellish their life style. I’m sure people have thought, ok they’re cute they post 100 pics but are they REALLY happy? I’ll even admit a couple of those pics (literally like 2 or 3) we look super in love but an hour before or after we were about to kill each other.
No relationship is perfect and ours really isn’t, but it does have a legitimate foundation, and overall we are really happy and have a strong relationship. The other night was one of those, necessary nights. We had a conversation that was, for a lack of better words real, and this is why I’m even doing all of this right now. The reason why Damon Mark M II is my MCM is because he loves me, simply put. I’m not easy, but he hasn’t left me. This is the longest drama free and sustainable relationship I’ve ever been in, and for that, for me anyways, it’s a little scary. I have been told and know, my brain can be pretty negative sometimes. ME personally, I’ve seen enough in life where I feel I almost HAVE to be on edge because I know people are evil, and some crazy shit can and can go down in the worst way possible.
Dame has patience with me, and listens (NOT ALL THE TIME) but when it’s needed, he tries to figure out what the problem is. It’s annoying sometimes because he WILL not stop until the root of the problem is discovered and discussed, but it’s necessary to learn and move on. I’m a handful sometimes, and actually plenty of people told me I’d never find a man because of my, interesting personality. However he did it, he sees ME. He calls me a softy all the time, even though IIII know I’m a thug, but….alas, he is correct. I’m sensitive and jealous and crazy, but it’s only because I love him so freakin much. Now don’t read this and judge me, it just is what it is. I’m not snapping every other situation, but it does sit in my brain and make me overthink sometimes. I know he’s a good guy, and even though its scary to love him as much as I do sometimes, I seriously couldn’t see myself with anyone else.
My issues are my issues, and one thing I forget all the time, is our age difference. He’s three years older than I am, and has experienced more of life including his time healing from his own relationships. When I started dating after my ex, it took me a whole year before I even thought about giving this ‘love’ thing another chance because of how things went and ended between us. Now granted I shouldn’t have thought I was that much of the shit that he wouldn’t do anything at all, I did, and he did, and when I found out it absolutely crushed me because he was someone I didn’t worry about because I couldn’t imagine in a million years he’d do anything to hurt me. HA. Negro played my wholllllle life in the craziest way possible. Definitely made me a bit paranoid, which came out even though I thought I was over it.
What I told dame is I knew he at least deserved a chance. I could tell from our first date. When I first met him, I was pretty much over getting excited about guys. I went to go, and because we had a much better and longer first conversation than I expected. At the least, I knew we’d have a decent meal, but I wasn’t expecting THIS allllll of this, thinking of marriage and babies. And I didn’t get excited because the other guys I met, I was SO hype! OMG he’s cute, omg he has a good job, omg he’s a musician etc etc THIS WILL WORK. And all sent me flying on my face.
So WITH Dame, I went really really slow. Like 1st 2nd 3rd base slow. Like he didn’t spend the night with me for i wanna say almost 6 weeks. Like I REFUSED to go into his bedroom forever. I never even saw his bedroom until we became official I think, because i DID NOT want a repeat of all the bull shit. Again, I could tell he was different and I could see something solid, and with all the others sexual activities typically started earlier, because I ‘knew’ no man would try anything until they got the cookie. I know I pushed him to like the last day before he laid out an ultimatum, but I’m so happy he waited and went with it, because I feel we really got a chance to know each other, without all the bumping and grinding to distract anything.
For everything he’s done for me, for learning me, for loving me, for supporting me to do my best and most importantly SEEING my best and my potential, this is why he’s my MCM now and forever. It’s going to sound SOOO lame, but I really am so grateful waking up to him every day. HA! Sometimes I creep and watch him while he sleeps and I’m just in shock for being so happy with him. Is this my life right now? Even in his ball shorts and wife beater while he stuffs his face, drinks his beer, and watches his wrestling, I’m still super happy. If it means I have to watched oiled up men in baby panties every monday and sometimes sunday for the rest of my life, I’m fine.
HOWEVERRRR let’s also keep in mind, his ass isn’t perfect either! But that’s not what this post is about. Hold on though, because he is stubborn as all hell and it drives me craaaazy sometimes…..ok ok that’s it……for this post anyways lol.
Loe you babe.